An Excursion to the Supermarket

Bloomsday. I went shopping for my parents. Deja vu all over again.

For many years I shopped for a friend. I think she was 70 when I started and over 90 when we parted ways. It took a few months for me to learn her preferences and for us to come to an agreement. Some items had to be specific. If she asked for the 22 oz. lemon-scented version, I never substituted. If that item wasn't available I didn't buy a substitute.

On the other hand "sherbet" was either raspberry or strawberry, the brand was immaterial. While she didn't express a preference in ice cream, it took a while for her to finally explain why she wasn't as thankful when I bought ice cream with fudge or nuts: she liked to put ice cream in her coffee. I purchased grated Parmesan cheese once. In her cosmos grated Parmesan cheese was an affront to god.

Looking at my parents' list I asked them for specs: brand, size, was substitution allowed, etc.

I digress to describe my supermarket shopping style. Except when I go shopping for myself I only go down certain aisles: pasta, bread, dairy, and the vegetable area. Unless someone asks me to pick up soda and chips I never go in that aisle. I can usually pick up what I need in a supermarket in 5-10 minutes because my shopping lists are almost always short.

Today was far different. It was more of a random walk.

Holding my parents list I found myself wandering through the housewares aisle several times looking for camphor balls. (There were none.) My mother wanted instant cocoa. (My throat constricts in a defensive reaction at the thought of it.) I scanned the shelves trying to match what I'd remembered in their kitchen with what was available on the shelves. Wandering down the housewares aisle I noted that the toilet bowl cleaner was sold out. (Was this significant? Would my stock broker devine a market shift from this observation?)

They wanted the store brand pancake syrup. Why? My brother had given them real maple syrup. Who can understand parents? I had neglected to ask them what size to get. My educational background makes me want to estimate the monthly usage and extend that to 6 months. The holistic/emotive side tried to conjure the image of the container in their kitchen. I couldn't recall a discussion of an imminent pancake syrup crisis. That meant that they probably hadn't reached the reorder point so they could make it through a few pancake breakfasts if I didn't buy anything. I got the middle size bottle because I could exchange it if the size was wrong.

Potatoes. Jeez! The last time I bought potatoes they were 30¢ a pound. Now the cheapest was 60¢ a pound! I've got a general concept of capitalism. A higher price is supposed to reflect higher demand or perhaps collusion among producers. Are potatoes suddenly the "in" food. Did I miss an article at the checkout counter? ("Potatoes Make You Bigger Where It Counts", "Potatoes - the Secret of Long Life", "The New Potato Diet - Lose 20 Pounds Over Night") Maybe it was a collusive effort to make potatoes seem more desirable. (These 60¢ a pound potatoes are so much better than those old 30¢ a pound potatoes.)

When I reported back that I couldn't find the mothballs my mother said that she hadn't been able to buy them for some time. (A friend eventually bought a box at National Wholesale Liquitators. This is a public service and unsolicited plug.)