Dead Grandmothers and Deadlines

In a May 8, 2011 article, "Of Deadlines and Dead Grandmothers", behind the paywall of the Chronicle of Higher Education, Thomas H. Benton the nom de plume of William Pannapacker, an associate professor of English at Hope College, described his experiences with relatives dying before critical academic work was to be done.

When his own grandmother died just before a paper was to be turned in, he spent the night writing the paper and missed the funeral.  At that time it never occurred to him that there was any other choice.  The article was a thoughtful one, with the comments typically informed, containing useful tradecraft, e.g., sending a condolence note or requesting memory cards from the funeral home.

On the more humorous side, there is a classic 1990 essay, "The Dead Grandmother/Exam Syndrome and the Potential Downfall Of American Society", by Mike Adams in The Connecticut Review correlating mortality statistics and exams.  (The link is to a PDF file.)  With appropriate graphs documenting the health hazards to grandmothers of students he reached several difficult to implement suggestions:

• Eliminate exams
• Allow only orphans to enroll at universities.  This of course would lead to a supply and financial problem for younger students,.  For those who delay college attendance out of concern for their grandparents, family responsibilities would be a complicating factor.  (Increasing the number of orphans has certain moral problems.) 
• Have students lie about their enrollment.  Again, another moral problem.