" I knew that the actual objectives of war were always camouflaged by well-designed lies that exploit collective fear and perpetuate national myths." -
by SINAN ANTOON "Fifteen Years Ago, America Destroyed My Country" https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/19/opinion/iraq-war-anniversary-.html
"... Canonical is still committed to pushing envelopes others are only now learning to lick and fold." From http://www.techrepublic.com/blog/10things/10-things-the-linux-desktop-can-be-proud-of/3093.
She: I want to get drunk and do something stupid.
He: I'm something stupid. Do me.
Paraphrased and stolen from Prairie Home Companion:
- What he took for a gleam in her eye was only her special contacts.
- Marriage is like bridge: you start with a heart and a diamond and end with a club and a spade.
- If the going gets tough look for the nearest exit.
- Multi-tasking means reading on the toilet.
- The difference between death an marriage is that when you're dead you don't wish you were married.
- A paranoid schizophrenic though he was following someone
- Did you hear about the paranoid schizophrenic? He always thought he was following someone.
From Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me: Rick Santorum has nothing to boast about. Caligula's horse was also a senator.
From http://www.jokesplace.com/joke/mentalhealth.html:
- If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
- If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
- If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
- If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
From Car Talk: The difference between death and marriage: When you're dead ...
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